Dear friend,
Well, let's get the awkwardness out of the way. My name's Oliver. What's yours?
Oh wait… right… this isn't so much a conversation as it is a safe destination for me to enact my tendencies to portray my chronic verbal diarrhoea as if I've taken textual laxatives.
It's funny, I used to write blog posts quite often but I found myself instead starting to unload my surface-level thought processes more and more onto friends. Before you say it: Yes, that is unhealthy. I am aware of this now. So, here I am, blogging once again.
Believe it or not - I'm an aspiring game developer myself, who has an unfailing tendency to spend his time avoiding doing just that. Though not for lack of trying, but as I'm sure you're well aware motivation is hard to muster. And at this point in my life - I find it difficult to build up the energy to do just about anything because I was blessed with just a dash of mental instability.
Great. I'm unloading here now, too. But you know what? This is my blog, and this is my safe space now. Not you, not anyone, can take this away from me - save for my webhost who has a habit of emailing me my monthly invoice a bit too late causing the service to expire leaving me to wait a few hours for it to accept my payment so that I can continue god DAMMIT LEE, SORT THIS SHIT OUT.
See, the thing is, I can't really explain who I am - because the honest answer is: I don't know. I have never known, and likely will never know. I like long walks on the beach (no really, I do), I like games, I like programming, I like music, and I have an array of mental health issues. But these things don't really make up me do they? You could attribute these traits to a lot of people. So what exactly is “me”?
Well, journey with me my friend - and you can witness me discover that for yourself as I spend my time getting my life together… somehow. Maybe, in months to come, I could hope to finally answer the question. The one question to which I have never in my life known the answer:
Who am I?